Welcome to this online fiction site! Here you can read the short stories inspired by the game "Baldur's Gate II - The Shadows of Amn." This is unofficial site and it is not associated by any means with Interplay, Bioware or TSR Inc. No material from this site can be reproduced for any commercial use and any noncommercial use must be authorized by Laufey.
You may count yourself extremely (and assuredly undeservedly) fortunate, for you have chanced across the single most perfect place in this contraption called the 'World Wide Web' (though of course my Web spells are infinitely more sturdy, not to mention sticky.) As I can see your mouths hanging open with a combination of awe and cow-like incomprehension, I will explain just why you are so fortunate (and hopefully I will get the point across before I wither with old age.)
You find yourself at the Shrine to Perfection, able to worship at the Altar of Sublime and Awesome Magnificence, a shrine devoted to the Center of the Multiverse. Yes, I will pause for the customary chimp-like gibberings of fear and devotion and what do you mean who? Me! Edwin Odesseiron, the most magnificent and intimidating mage in existence, the King of Conjuration, the Emperor of Evocation, the Duke of Divin no. Not Divination. Pah, those spells are worthless anyway, fit only for cheap parlor tricks. Now, where was I yes. Describing myself, of course. (And if I were to give you the full version of all my wonderful traits, your sad little envious souls would likely make you green with envy. Unless of course you happen to be female hmmm )
It should come as no great surprise to you that quite apart from being the most skilled spellcaster ever to tread the unworthy soil of Faerun beneath my perfect feet, I am also in possession of a razor-sharp and toweringly impressive intellect, and a tongue able to slice any foe into tiny little humiliated bits. (Figuratively of course. I would not soil myself with actually touching any of them in that way. I save that for my no, never mind. You are most likely unworthy of hearing about that anyway.) It should also be mentioned that I am the ultimate specimen of perfect manhood, with an unparalleled mortal body and the skill to use it properly, unlike certain other sad, pathetic people. Yes, many a lovely Concubine has been left gasping under the erotic onslaught of Edwin Odesseiron, Count of Carnal Intercourse! (And if you are too young or too stupid to know what that means, do not expect me to tell you.)
It is only fitting that my life should be properly chronicled, thereby allowing you all the chance to see the growth and development of a young mastermind. If you pay close attention, perhaps you will even eventually be able to evolve into the opposable-thumb stage. So journey back to Thay, to bear witness to how a young genius lives and learns, and come to know the roots from which he sprung. What do you mean who? Me of course! ME! Who else would I be talking about?
Adoration will be received 24 hours
a day, along with the donations for being allowed to gaze upon my stunning
form and be transfixed by my words of wisdom. Also, I would like to
pass the message along that there is one thing about which my scribe
is utterly, utterly, utterly wrong. I am not cute. Intimidating,
yes. Cute, no. And there'll be a Fireball waiting for you in case you
Table of Contents
||Monkey Business||Potent Potions|
||To Bard Or Not To Bard||Wychlaran|
||Spirits Of Winter Solstice||Love And Marriage|
||Before And After||Opera Ghost|
||My Best Friend||Matchmaker|
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modified on March 2, 2003
Copyright © 2003 by Laufey. All rights reserved.